Ty, are you out there?

Okay, don't get my wrong, I'm so grateful to have a house to live in. We lived in an apartment for a couple years and it was NOT fun. BUT, since our house was built in the dark ages, it has its problems. Yes, Chad can fix some things, but he doesn't have the skills needed to help this ancient house. We have plumbing issues in the master bath...the shower is not draining. I put Drano down it, but that didn't work. Then we got this stuff at Home Depot that says "Guaranteed to Work" and we've actually used a few times and has worked before, but this time, nothing. Then the other day, I noticed there is an awful smell in the kitchen like in the cabinets next to the dishwasher. I ran the dishwasher thinking that was the smell, but it still smells so bad. I fear that when people come over, they think my house stinks so bad. I've put AirWick things all over the kitchen area to cover it up but I can still smell it. I'm not sure if the mouse that I previously posted about, died (I put out poison all in the cabinets where I heard him) and that's what stinks or if the cabinets are rotting. We desperately need new cabinets. They are just hideous and have holes in the backs of them, which is why we get rodents and roaches. I don't know how much new basic cabinets are and how much it costs to get them installed.
We were also given brand new counter tops from Chad's cousins, but they aren't cut to fit our kitchen so they will have to be measured and cut but we the guy we asked to help us has never called us back or come over so they have been sitting on our back patio for like 4 months, just taking up space and gathering much dirt and cobwebs. They also gave us brand new carpet but we haven't been able to put that in either. They also gave us a new dishwasher, but that is STILL sitting in the garage at his parent's house.
Then there's the A/C & Heating issue. Hardly any (if any) air blows out of the vents in the kids' bedrooms. I've tried closing some of the other vents and that didn't help. I had the air ducts cleaned last year to see if that would help the air flow, but it didn't. I know what you're thinking..."Why can't Chad fix it?He does Air Conditioning for a living!) I've asked him so many times and he says he can't fix it. Something about it needing to be balanced and he can't do it. I don't know. All I know is that the kids are freezing during the winter and sweating in the summer, even though the we run the heater and the a/c. I'm sure my single pane windows don't help that situation either. Or that none of the doors are completely sealed when they close. I suppose I could get one of those things that you attach to the bottom of the doors to keep the air and bugs out. Where do I get those anyways?
The electricity in our house needs to be updated too. When I use the blowdrier for longer than 10 minutes, it blows the fuse and the power in the bathroom and hall go out. And at Christmas time when Chad puts up all his lights and decorations, the power in the house goes out too. Oh, and we have a huge dead tree in the back yard that has power lines running through its branches. I've gotten quotes to get this thing taken out, and one guy a few years ago quoted me $1500 and we didn't have that kind of money so we didn't have him do it. Then when we got our tax return the next year, I called him back to get another quote for the same tree and he wanted TWICE the amount he quoted me a year ago!! When I showed him his previous quote, he was like "Well, uh...with gas prices up this year, I have to charge more....blah blah blah..." Anyways, on with the backyard...it's just not kid-friendly. We sorta have grass, have lots of dirt, and an old fence that's falling apart. Every so often some neighborhood dog comes and knocks out a couple of fence boards and so Rocky gets out. So since we've been out of work for like 2 months, we've not had the money to fix the entire fence, so we just do a little section at a time. I'd really like a block fence so as to help drown out at least some of the noise from the neighbor's loud parties, not to mention keeping strange dogs out of our yard. I wish I had a nice, green back yard with a play area for the kids, with a swing set for them to climb on and swing on and be kids. Instead of now, they go outside and either get into trouble by going into the nasty, doorless shed or get filthy dirty from playing in the dirt. Oh, and I'd like to get rid of the sick shed and get a nice looking one to use to store stuff in since we don't have a garage.
I think I forgot to mention my "beautiful" pink tiled hall bath. The walls in it are so rotted that you can push on the tile and it goes in. A tile next to the faucet has come off and you can see how rotted the underlying surface is. Who knows what else is behind it. I'd like to get a quote on how much it would cost to take it all out and put in new surround walls but I'm scared they are going to rip it all out and then tell me that they encountered mold or something horrific and that's going to cost lots more than they had quoted.
So if Ty Pennington happens to stumble on my blog, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come knock on my door!!!!!!!